Fat Weight Loss Gurus

What’s with fat people claiming to be weight loss experts? Don’t these people own mirrors?

One is doling out diet advice and weighs 200 plus at 5 foot flat.

One's a diet researcher because she married a doctor and his M.D. whiz made her a diet whiz but her photo shows chipmunk cheeks. Maybe it's a thyroid thing.

And this Julia Havey chick got a youtube video showing her wide load. I guess she do all right with the lights off.



A bunch SAY they're fit but apparently they've lost their heads. As in posting a headless photo of an anonymous hot bod that could belong to anybody. Yeah, anonymity always say believability to me.

I get fat chefs on Food Network like Paula Dean, Emeril, and Ina Garten. Hell, their cooks, they cook all day, test recipes over and over, then write and make tv shows about food. They’d be hard pressed not to get fat. (Has anyone checked the knuckles of Sandra Lee or Bobby Flay lately).

Besides, they are not claiming to be weight loss gurus.

I even get fat Americans in general. I live in Vegas, home of the cheap buffet. There's fast food joints on every corner of every street in the US. Food is cheap and people are greedy so people get fat. So what. It's their heart attack.

But if you’re going to call yourself a cowboy you got to at least own a damn saddle. If your a weight loss know-it-all look the damn part. Or at least get better photos taken and don't do videos.

My little sister was fat after she had her kid but she got off her ass and started eating less. Now I’ve got a leg bigger than her.

If you’re still wider than a chair you’re not done. Get your fat ass unstuck from the chair, join a gym and quit taking up space in the buffet line.

Someone Sati Down Sarah Palin and Shut Her Up.

Fire at Palin's Church Lifted Spirits, Churchgoer Says, as Governor Apologizes Again

What do they do in that church, practice the East Indian Sati custom of burning widows alive along with dead husbands. Sounds like a Republican idea.

I wish I'd been near a computer when McCain first chose that Palin chick. I've got more opinions on that than I've got assholes.

Pot Calling The Kettle Black

I was reading a newsletter by a fellow named Chris Brogan over little Sis's shoulder this morning. Late night for us, or is it early morning? Anyhow, this cute chick who's a journalist was guest blogging for this Brogan. Nice article too, Sissy was impressed, which is hard to do to a hardcore writer bitch like her.

Then number 7 appeared. And not like three sisters of sevens on a slot machine. This journalist was giving sound advice on how bloggers could learn from journalists and dropped the proverbial ball. Here's my response at Chris Brogan.com:

Okay, if you’re going to give advice on anything, also follow you’re own advice. If you think typos make someone look stupid - and we all make them - clean up your own. Proofread before you publish. See Anita’s typo made in number 7 below, ironic only because she’s giving advice on typos.

“Precision is key. If you carefully consider each word and each sentence, then you’ve put yourself in another realm as a writer. Precision helps you gain respect and legitimacy because is (correction, should be it, not is) shows you’re taking your writing and reporting seriously, even if you’re writing humor. At the very least, consult a dictionary, thesaurus and grammar book. All the Web site flash and dazzle in the world won’t cover up poor writing riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes. Trust me: If there’s one typo, one spelling error, someone is going to call you stupid. HELLO.

I hope Ms. Bruzzese doesn't bruise easily.

I'll Be Absent Without Leave Awhile

I'm off to Jordan again. Going to miss poker, legal hookers, good Kentucky whiskey, and fine dining at The Big Kitchen Buffet.

Sissie offered to guest blog, but who wants to listen to her caterwailing.

Lately my zeitgeist seems to be all flight geist.

And they say cigarettes will kill you.

12 Year Old Dies After Heart Attack At Circus Circus

A California girl is dead after her heart stopped beating while riding a roller coaster.

The twelve year old reportedly had a heart attack while on a ride at the Circus Circus Adventuredome.

An off duty Clark County firefighter tried reviving her before she was rushed to UMC.

Officials with the Coroner's office say it could take weeks before they can determine the exact cause of death.

Overheard At The Buffet

"I just don't understand why they can't supply bigger plates. And these booths could be roomier, too."

She probably wonders why her triple x slacks aren't roomier.

Stormy Visit With Sissy

I visited my little sister up near Reno last week. Couldn't believe the weather, they had tornado warnings. Wild west weather up there.

Sis figured it had something to do with my presence.

I humbly disagree. Just because she's a witch doesn't make me a warlock.

Severe Summer Storm Rips Through Northern NV

Hey, the low tonight will be 82. Maybe I'll light a fire and toast some marshmallows. They're get with Jack Daniels.

McCain Obama Cat Fight

So McCain and camp think that if they name a vice presidential running mate this week that it'll take attention off Obama's trip to Iraq? Hey, babe, it's all over CNN. Okay, the way I see this McCain thinks we all have teeny tiny brains and can't follow more than one bouncing news story at a time.

That says a lot about Johnny McBush.

Not to mention this bozo is gaff central.

T. Boone Pickens Plan

Pushin' T. Boone Pickens

Now here’s a sensible and reasonable man. I admire a man with a plan. (I also admire a man who act without one when has too rather than doing nothing at all. If his scheme works I won’t have to sell my caddy and trade my motorcycle boots for spurs.

Smokeless Cigarettes?

What the hell's the point. This is like giving non alcoholic booze to a chick who's pants you want to get into.

"Smart Fixx is the hottest and newest smoking device. It emits a harmless vapor that simulates smoking by satisfying nicotine urges & cravings. Use Smart Fixx in any situation where there is a smoking ban. Our product is non-offensive. There is no second hand smoke. The Electronic Smokeless Cigarette consists of a stainless steel shell, lithium battery, micro-electric circuit, atomizing chamber and an indicator light at the head of the electronic cigarette. It enables smokers to enjoy the same pleasure as they get from a traditional cigarette when inhaling the nicotine, imitating the whole process of smoking. The rechargeable battery gives you endless hours of enjoyment and smoking pleasure. No Offensive Second Hand Smoke!

Scientific research has demonstrated that cigarette smoke contains over 4,000 chemical substances, hundreds of which are harmful to the human body with 25 diseases directly related to smoking, especially carbon monoxide, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbon and nitrosamine in cigarette smoke that are considered the most dangerous carcinogenic substances."

Hey, maybe I like living dangerously.

Fixing The Mess We're In

T. Boone Pickens

If we wanna celebrate our future 4th of July holidays and drive home in a car instead of a covered wagon check this guy out.

Mortgage Mess

Ma, people go around financially clueless, spend hand over fist what they don't have, then whine when the bills come due.

Greed made this mess. The greed of the lenders who gave dubious mortgages to people who couldn't afford them. The greed over borrowers who knew down deep they couldn't afford that big house. Keeping up with the Jones sucks, kids.

They don't call a hard on a Jones for nothing.

If you say my desert hovel you'd laugh. But it's paid for, dry, and cool.

Commercialism is fucking us over in more ways than one. We're programmed to buy, buy, buy, and we're encouraged to dig ourselves a debt grave big enough to bury a bus full of Elvi.

If you don't need it to get through a day and a night, you don't need it.

This Chick Is Scary

Not to mention bitchy and ugly. No wonder she had to marry an ancient ogre.

I wouldn't have divorced her, I would've taken the bitch out in the desert and shot her. Save some poor unsuspecting dude the trouble of mixing it up with her.

Jack Nicholson Endorses Hillary Clinton

Now old Jack's a man after my own heart.

Bushisms - Proving Idiots Can Hold Political Office

This is exactly why George W. Bush has to be some kind of lackey fake figurehead and someone else is pulling his strings…and not doing a very good job of it at that. The man has no grasp of grammar and talks like a third grader high on Halloween candy.